The One Where James is in a Dress
by The Cesar Legacy
Summary: I dare you to do a strip-tease for McGonagall"...... a funny and cute RLSB and JPLE truth and dare story. My first fanfiction.


**Disclaimer: Not Mine**

**A/N: This is my first story so please be nice and review**

**Warning: Slash, some sexual references **

OOOOOO

The One Where James is in a dress: 

As in many Friday afternoons there was nothing to do in the middle of the fierce January cold which happened to be why the four marauders sat in their dormitory trying to think of something to do.

"There's nothing to do" Sirius reaffirmed.

"Why aren't you with your girlfriends?" said Peter.

"I dumped what's-her-name" said Sirius as tried to remember the girl he had been dating for the past couple of days.

"Last time I asked Evans out I was in the hospital wing for almost a week"

Sirius and Remuse exchanged smirks as James started talking about Lily Evans and how beautiful she looked while she was cursing him with his own wand.

"How about you, Remus" asked Sirius cutting off James as he started talking about 'his lily-flower's emerald green eyes'.

"I broke up with Jenna"

"Why?"

"It wasn't fair to her"

"Not again," said James and Sirius together.

Remuse sulked, "Moony you and Jenna were so great together! You can't keep breaking up with gorgeous brainy and fun girls just because of your furry little problem. She was perfect for you" said James.

"I just can't date someone seriously if they don't know **what** I am"

Sirius's gray eyes flashed as he heard this and a small secretive smile appeared on his face. "I'm bored" he whispered.

"Let's play ultimate truth and dare" suggested James as he sat up a little straighter.

"Alright" said Peter.

"Sure" said Remuse and Sirius nodded.

They arranged themselves in a circle on the floor of the dormitory. Sirius sat closer to Remus than he usually would have but nobody seemed to notice.

"James, truth or dare" said Sirius an evil sort of smile spreading throughout his face.

"Truth"

Sirius's smile grew and his eyes twinkled as he said "What is the filthiest sex fantasy you've ever had"

James eyes grew wide open "That's not fair".

"Good one Sirius" said Remus smiling at him as Peter grabbed the small bottle of Vetiraserum out of his trunk.

"This isn't a fair truth" said James as a small drop of Vetiraserum was placed on a spoon and brought up to his mouth.

"Its fair" said Sirius his wicked smile spreading.

Remuse pushed the spoon into James' mouth and there was a moment of silence as James swallowed. Sirius, Remuse and Peter sat there eyes wide looking at James expectantly and then he began to speak "I'm in the Quidditch field right underneath the goal posts. Lily Evans is laying there naked and covered in whip cream" as he spoke James's eyes widened at his own revelations. "The stands are full, there are hundreds of people cheering us on and I'm licking the whip creams of her…" James clapped a hand to his mouth shaking his head and muffling the sound.

"On the Quidditch field… Kinky" said Sirius nodding his head in approval.

"That's sick, I'll never think of whip cream the same way again" said Remus wrinkling his nose at the thought of Lily….naked.

"Oh my god" said James his eyes wide. He turned to Sirius "Please don't tell her Padfoot, she'll never go out with me if…"

"She's not going to go out with you anyway" said Peter.

James narrowed his eyes at him and Peter sunk back.

"She will Prongs, she will eventually" said Remus reassuringly.

"Alright it's Moony's turn" said James turning his head back to Remus who was now looking down at the ground hoping to god that they went easy on him.

"Truth or dare"

"Truth" he said automatically.

"Are you a virgin, and if you aren't who have you done it with?" asked James.

Remus put a drop of the Veritaserum in to his mouth and then said "I'm a virgin"

"Really?" said Sirius as he pulled his dark shoulder-length hair out of his eyes to see Remus better.

Remuse blushed and looked down. "I don't know why you thought I'd had sex"

Sirius smiled wider but then he seemed to realize something "This is down-right disgraceful! We're sixteen and I'm the only one who's had sex!" Sirius said in an outraged voice.

"I'm waiting for Lily," said James.

"I'm waiting for someone that won't be repulsed by the fact of what I am"

"You've already found him" whispered Sirius under his breath.

"Did you say something?" asked James.

"No"

"Padfoot, it's your turn. Truth or Dare"

"Unlike you shameful Gryffindor I'm going for dare"

"Alright" said Remus as he started to think of something good. "I dare you to" suddenly a malevolent smile spread across his face "do a strip-tease for McGonagall!"

There was silence.

"You do realize you just condemned him to death, don't you?" said James looking back from Sirius and Remus that were staring at each other unblinkingly.

"Holly crap! You're serious!" said Sirius and Remus nodded his sharp teeth coming in to focus.

"Well? Are you going to do it?" asked James as he looked back at Sirius.

"A Gryffindor doesn't decline a dare" Sirius said simply as he stood up.

"You're going to do it!" said Peter looking scared.

Remus who was staring unblinkingly at Sirius said "Of course he is"

Sirius frowned… he had said it in a strange way and then he responded "Yeah Monny's right I'm doing it"

James looked at him, his large brown eyes widened in shock "Sirius there's no way you'll come out alive"

Sirius just smirked and said "Oh no, James the only consequence I'll see to this is that she might bribe me for sex"

"You think that highly of yourself?" asked Remus.

Sirius smiled and said "Well let's just say I've gotten very positive feedback"

"Jesus" whispered James.

"Moony I've never been prouder of you… what a dare" said Sirius as he stood up and walked to his trunk.

"What are you doing?" asked James.

"If I'm going to strip for McGonagall I need sexy clothes" said Sirius in a 'isn't it obvious voice'.

"What do you think she'll do to him?" asked Peter, as his small squinty little eyes surveyed Sirius who was dressing in black, tight, leather pants.

"Maybe he's right and she won't be mad but be…. Horny" said James looking a bit disturbed by the last word.

"Oh no I just think she's going to curse him" said Remus.

"Ok, I'm ready" announced Sirius as he came over wearing a silk, light blue shirt and his rock star leather pants.

They walked in silence, their breathing heavy as they crossed the common room and went out of the portrait making their way to McGonagall's study. Remus looked nervously at Sirius starting to think maybe this wasn't the best idea, James was looking pale and Peter was biting his nails nervously but to their surprise Sirius didn't seem nervous as if doing a strip tease for the most uptight teacher in all of Brittan was no big deal.

They stopped in front of the door.

Sirius reached out for the door knob when James said "Sirius"

He stopped and turned back to James "If you don't make it I want you to know you would have been the best man at my wedding to Lily"

"Ok, Prongs" said Sirius rolling his eyes but smiling.

He turned the doorknob and walked in leaving the door open.

"Mr. Black what do you want?" they heard McGonagall say.

There was no answer as the three boys peaked through the opened door they saw Sirius slowly unbuttoning his shirt and slipping of the sleeves, waving it around his head and moving his hips in rhythm to some song that seemed to be playing in his head. McGonagall when pale but she stood there clearly unable to move.

Slowly Sirius undid his jeans and Remus forced himself to look away and turned away from the classroom. There were several minutes of silence except for Peter's small gasp.

"He bloody well did it" whispered James as he touched Remus's shoulder.

"Has she killed him yet?" asked Remus who was still turned away from the classroom.

"No, she hasn't said anything but he's starting to dress now, you can look"

Remus blushed. James was the only person who knew that he Remus Lupin was madly deeply incomprehensibly in love with Sirius Black.

Remus turned back. Sirius was now very slowly doing up the buttons of his shirt as McGonagall still stood there her eyes wide and unblinking. When Sirius finished dressing he 

took a small bow and said "See you later Professor" in such a normal tone that McGonagall blinked in disbelief.

"Black!" she suddenly said.

He stopped in his tracks and turned around to face her.

"That was excellent work" she said in her usual tone her head held high. "Fifty points for Gryffindor for showing unbelievable qualities for such young man"

Sirius grinned at her and said "thank you professor" before walking calmly out of the classroom where his three friends stood paralyzed with disbelief.

Sirius closed the door of her study and ginning turned back to them. "They all like what they see" he said winking.

"Fifty points!" said James.

"I don't think anybody has ever gotten that many from McGonagall at one time" said Peter.

There was silence as they all walked back in a sort of daze to their dorm room.

They sat back down in a circle. "Are we still playing?" asked Peter.

"Yeah, I haven't gotten to dare you yet"

"Nothing beats what you did Padfoot that'll go down in the history of ultimate truth and date" said Remus looking at Sirius.

"Wormtail truth or dare?"

"Truth" he said hesitantly.

"You gut-less Gryffindor" he said. Sirius paused to think for a moment and then he smiled. "Peter have you ever kissed a girl?"

Peter blushed as Remus put Veritaserum in his mouth. "No!" he half-screamed.

"Oh my god!" said Sirius shaking his head indignantly. "Plain disgusting Peter"

"Never as in Never!" said James his eyes wide.

"Never!" said Peter putting his hands over his face.

"Oh Peter" said Remus shaking his head weakly.

"Just for that you forfeit daring Prongs me and Monny will do it" he said putting his arm around the werewolf who stiffened slightly.

"What you can watch me do a striptease but when I put my arm around you get uncomfortable" said Sirius smiling at him.

"I'm no pervert… I didn't watch. Peter and James can't say the same though" he said looking up at Prongs who was blushing slightly.

"Alright Prongs, dare or dare" said Sirius his eyes flashing.

"You didn't leave me much of a choice now did you?"

"What should we dare him to do my dear darling werewolf?" asked Sirius.

"Someone's friendly" Remus said.

"Well after getting to show my 'unbelievable qualities' to the most stern woman I've ever meet, I'm pretty happy"

Remus smiled his brain turning back to a dare. A dare that would match the one he had just given Sirius a dare that would in essential be James's crowning glory if he succeeded and his immense down fall if he didn't make it.

"I dare you to get Lily to go out with you while you're wearing woman's clothing"

James's face fell.

Even Sirius was looking at Remus with disbelief.

"What?"

"You have to get Lily to go out with you while you are wearing…"

"No I heard you, what I meant was WHAT!" said James looking horrified.

"I don't understand the question" said Remus with his hinted smile.

"I can't even get her to go out with me while I'm in normal clothes"

"Do you love her?" asked Remus.

"Yeah"

"Would you do anything for her?"

"Yeah"

"Would you die of embarrassment for her?"

"Yeah"

"This is the way to get her Prongs to show her that you love her so much you are willing to wear -"

"The pink-floral-floor-length-gown that I got Peter as a joke last Christmas" said Sirius smiling widely.

"You guys mean it! You're going to make me lose any chances that I still have with her" said James.

"Lily's one of my best friends and if you tell her how you feel and wear the dress which symbolizes that you'd anything to get her I think she'll go on a date with you Prong. No joke, I'm totally serious" said Remus looking over at James.

There was silence.

James gulped and then said "I'll do it"

"No way" whispered Peter.

Sirius smiled and looked over at Remus thinking that his little werewolf had learned a lot about being a marauder, a rule breaker, a dare devil and most of all the most fucking-awesome person Sirius had ever meet.

"Ok, Sirius help James get in to the dress and me and Peter will go find Lily. She'll be waiting for you by the doors of the great hall" said Remus.

"Wow, wow, wow I have to go all the way down to the great hall?" said James his eyebrows raise in a horrified expression of someone who had just been told life was over.

"Do you want her?"

"Yes"

"Then up to the Great Hall shouldn't seem that far down" said Remus smiling at him. "You'll get her James, you'll get her tonight"

Remus walked to the door, followed by uneasy looking Peter when Sirius came up to him and said "You sure about this Monny?"

Remus smiled in his beautiful delicate way and said "Oh yeah she'll have to go out with him after this"

OOO

Lily Evans stood in front of the great hall her arms crossed over her head and her eyes narrowing at Remus "Why am I standing here again"

"You're waiting for something Lily"

"Oh right you're little 'surprise' which you will not tell me anything about" she said rolling her eyes. "If this has anything to do with Potter I'm going to kill you" she added.

"Alright" said Remus smiling. At the top of the stairs appeared Sirius giving the thumbs up sing. It was time.

"Lily, just stand here, shut up and watch" said Remuse sliding slightly away from her. "Promise you won't pull out your wand and you'll be rational" he continued.

"Fine, I promise Remus but now I'm absolutely certain this has something to do with Potter so after his little courting ceremony in which I will decline I will kill you"

"Just watch Lily" said Remus as he did thumps up to Sirius.

From behind a shadow James came and walked gracefully down the stairs. His face was flushed, his eyes were wide and the moment everybody saw him in that ridiculous girly dress there was silence. He walked down the stair managing not to trip on the lacy hem of his dress and then walked just as slowly towards Lily who stood stunned her eyes wide open.

James stopped about a foot away from her got down on his knees and said "Lily Evans" in a voice that had been magically enhanced so that it was audible throughout the entire castle. "I will do anything to just spend an afternoon with you. I'll wear a dress for the rest of my life, I'll throw away my wand and become a Muggle, I'll kiss every bloke in the school, I'll never play Quidditch again, I'll never hex anybody ever not even if Voldemort comes up to me unarmed, I'll clean the whole castle, I'll work harder than a house-elf, I'll do ANYTHING you ask me to except I can't leave you alone because I am in love with you"

There was a moment where the whole of Hogwarts was silent. No one moved. No one spoke. No one laughed. No one joked. The students around James saw the true desperation in his eyes, the way he meant every single word and they had to admit Lily would be a bitch if she didn't accept him.

Lily was standing there still for a moment looking down at him. He looked so pathetic his large brown eyes welling up with tears as he knelt there on his knees just wanting to spend an afternoon with her. But that wasn't the reason she fell to her knees too and kissed him passionately in the mouth her hands running through his dark hair; she didn't do it for pity she did it because now she knew he meant what he said. He was honestly in love with her, he was in love.

Remus watched in disbelief as the two continued kissing there holding each other both still kneeling, he had done it he had convinced Lily to change her mind.

That's when the whole school spilled in to cheering, noise, laughter, wolf-calls and grins as they watched them tumble to the floor snogging like there was no tomorrow.

Sirius ran as quickly as he could down the stair to where Remus stood grinning and he grabbed his arm. Remus looked up at him and Sirius spoke boldly the words he had repressed for so many years "If James had the gut to go through with this, I have the guts to do this" and just like that he launched at Remus kissing him passionately in the mouth.

After half a minute of kissing Remus's soft tender and responsive lips he pulled away and stared at him wondering if Remus didn't want him to kiss him. Remus stood there looking completely shocked and then he wrapped his arms around Sirius's neck and kissed him hard on the lips again.

Lily and James finally stood up both sweaty and grinning holding each other warmly. They both looked around wanting to thank Remus when they spotted the kissing puppies. "Oh my god" said Lily smiling her arm around James's waist.

Sirius and Remus finally pulled apart. "Dam sexy little werewolf" said Sirius smiling and pulling Remus back towards him.

"James you have horrible taste in dresses" said Lily giggling as she touched the puffy sleeve of James's dress.

James scowled "Sirius chose it!" he wined.

The END

**Thanks for Reading and Please Review (remember be nice… it's my first fanfiction)**


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